This is a parody of Steve Pavlina’s Post: Opting out of Holiday Gift Exchanges 

Today I got a call from my mother reminding me that it was her birthday and it might’ve been nice of me to send her a card. Of course, being the complete self absorbed jerk that I am, I told her that I no longer want to get any gifts from anyone nor am I ever going to send any gifts.

Many people grow up with holiday traditions that center around buying and exchanging gifts with family members. I enjoyed and appreciated this when I was younger, and I have many fond memories about it. Of course, now I’m the mighty Steve Pavlina, soon to be the leader of an interwebs cult. Now it just, uh, doesn’t ‘resonate’ with me to do anything that doesn’t feed my ego.

Of course I don’t have the guts to say it like it is, so I will just use words like ‘resonate’, to put the blame on something else.

So, from now on, whenever I’m too lazy to do something, or when I don’t get my way and I’m being a baby about it, whether its closing the forums or not sending my family any cards, I’m just going to say that it doesn’t ‘resonate’ with me. The universe / my guardian angel / the force has decided that this thing is no longer a ‘vibrational match’ for me. I mean, what’s the alternative, that I’m too lazy? That I have FLAWS?  No, that certainly can’t be it. It must be the resonation thing.

Pretty soon, I’ll not resonate with doing anything except eating, sleeping, and fucking. But that’s just my ‘conscious’ decision about it.

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