Note: This is a parody of Steve Pavlina’s recent blog post, Meeting in Person.

Men:

I hate men who are shallow and only care about what kind of car they’re driving or how many women they’ve slept with.

Women:

If you won’t let me grope you, I don’t want to meet you. But i’m not shallow at all, no way.

Sexual Connections:

Here are some things I like to do before sex:

– Letting her catch me giving her lustfully creepy looks.

– Sensually singing my favorite Depeche Mode songs to her while giving her the same creepy looks.

– Slowly letting her sensually slide a finger inside my ear… wait, why are you vomiting?